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Good advice.
The (other) biggest mistake you’re making in relationships
A big mistake people make in relationships: Expecting people to be different than they actually are. If you ever find yourself thinking, “They should just…” or “Why can't they just…” then that is a clue you might be thinking people should be different than they actually are. I find this applies not only to dating and partner relationships but also (especially) to long-term family and friend relationships.
The biggest mistake you’re making in new relationships
Are you someone who gets very invested in or very attached to new people quickly? I think that is a big mistake. Good relationships take time and shared experience to develop. Don’t rush into finding your next partner or bestie.
Let’s talk about feelings
Feelings! You know you've got them. But sometimes you don't want them.
We often make room for our emotions when 'big' things happen, but we want to push them away when smaller things happen. Especially feelings like anger, sadness, jealousy, and fear. But why? Feelings are just your nervous system's way of calling attention to something that's happening in your outer world. Feelings are not inherently good or bad, right or wrong. They just are. And it is important to feel all of them.
Are you willing to make your Plan B your Plan A?
I’ve heard this advice several times recently and wanted to share it with you: You need to have a Plan A and a Plan B.
And, most importantly, you need to be willing to make your Plan B your Plan A.
Read on…
How to reach your goals (Part 3)
In Part 1 we learned to stand in the future and speak about your goals as if they are already done. In Part 2 we learned that you have to believe that you are the person who can create those results. And in this Part 3, we are going to review our goals and make space for them to happen.
Take a look at your list of goals and get out your calendar.
Where are you going to put the things that you want to do?
How to believe in your goals (Part 2)
Step One: You stand in the future and write about what you've accomplished in the past year, in the past tense, as if it is already done. Step Two is this: you have to work on believing you are the person who will accomplish those goals. What does that mean? The one thing that will get you over the finish line is believing you are the person who will do the thing you set out to do. Not only is this an important part of reaching your goals, it’s also the way to change your life!
How to set goals that work (Part 1)
Rather than making a list of things you want to accomplish in the coming year, stand forward a year from now in December of 2023 and look back... What have you done? What do you see? What did your year look like? What are you most proud of? What was important to you?
Write it down. Write it all down, and in the past tense. Write it as if it is done.
By doing this you are standing in the future and deciding ahead of time what you created in the past year. Notice when you bring the energy of 'it is done' how that feels different than making a list of 'resolutions' you'll forget about in the next three weeks.
What else could be true?
With the holidays upon is, we have more obligations, more family time, longer school breaks, and more opportunities for people to be frustrated. We also have more opportunities to feel slighted if other people aren't acting according to the 'manual' of how we think they should.
If you find yourself stuck thinking about someone else's behavior and what you're making it mean to you, here is a simple exercise you can try:
Ask yourself, "what else could be true?"
We all make up stories in our head about what we think someone else's behavior means. But...there's a good chance we might be wrong about that, or at least what they meant it to mean.
Is your relationship (or job) complete?
How do you know when it is the right time to leave a job or a relationship? How do you give yourself permission to breakup, move on, or decide your current circumstance no longer suits you? You just decide.
Most of us are conditioned to believe we have to have a 'good reason' to make such decisions. You don't have to have a good reason to change jobs or change relationships. You can just decide that the one you are in is 'complete.'
Why is it so hard to ask for help?
Women are notoriously bad at asking for help. What keeps us from asking for help? Usually shame, for starters. But doing it all is not the answer.
Your resistance is causing you suffering
Does it seem like if other people would just do things differently, you wouldn’t have to suffer? That if other people would just change, your experience in life would be better?
This is called resistance and it is causing you to suffer. Here’s why and what to do about it.
How Can it Be EASY?
What are you making more complicated than it needs to be? Ask yourself, “How can this be easy?” Then do that!