The biggest mistake you’re making in new relationships
The biggest mistake I see people make in new relationships (platonic or romantic) is this: getting way too invested in someone way too quickly.
That could be with:
That insta-friend you met from a shared experience such as school or volunteering;
The person you just started dating but think you could marry after knowing them for only a month;
A new mom friend at your kid's school; or
Finding that co-worker bestie when you start a new job.
Why do I think this a problem?
Because we often let these relationships take up a lot of emotional energy and get attached very quickly, then feel super disappointed if (or when) they don't work out. You'll feel the loss not only of the relationship that you had but the future relationship you thought you might have with that person.
When we rush into knowing someone, we might see their potential, without taking the time to really get to know them. A few weeks or months later we might find out they act in a way that is incompatible with our values or what we want in a friend or partner.
What should we do instead?
Take time to get to know people. Look at the ways you might connect with someone but also pay attention to the ones where you don't. Gather information as you go and don't be afraid to pull back on a relationship that might not be good fit. And don't expect everyone you connect with to be an instant bestie.
Good relationships take time and shared experience to develop. There's no hurry.
Need help improving your relationship with your relationships?Let's chat! That is the work I love to do!
