Why is it so hard to ask for help?

Here's what's on my mind this week: my shocking inability to ask for help sometimes. (Unless it's from my ex-husband and involves something where I need another set of hands around the house before I call a 'professional', but I digress...)

Why is it so hard to ask for help?!

One thing I struggle with is hitting 'Go' on getting my shit organized and decluttered. You know the projects I am talking about: decluttering all the places where things have been accumulating - the basement, your closet, your kids' rooms, the garage, the dining room table. I can do it, but it takes a lot of energy for my neurodivergent brain and between doing all of the regular chores of life plus raising kids plus working, etc. etc. I just don't want to do it.

Or, I kind of want to do it but I don't do it.

Enter an easy solution: You can literally hire someone to do this for you! So simple! I should do THIS!

And I have done that, several times.

And it always feels so good when it's done!

Someone comes in and they do what they do and three or six or 12 hours later you have a fully functional and reset kitchen and you think, "Why did I wait so long to do this?!" It's ah-may-zing!

So why don't I do that now?

What is keeping me from asking for... help?

Can you guess? Any ideas? Anything come to mind when you think of asking for help?!

Say it with me: SHAME.

F*cking shame.

The "I should be able to do this myself" thoughts. The "other women can do this, why can't I?" question. The "what is wrong with me!?" refrain. The "I don't want them to see my mess so I don't even bother calling" stuckness.

*Sigh*

But those thoughts are not helpful!

And they also aren't true.

There is nothing wrong with me. Modern life requires so much of women now that we can't be expected to do it all, and to do it perfectly with a smile on. Not everyone is good with organizing and decluttering. Some people love to do it. Some don't. AND if you don't love to do it (or do love to do it but don't want to do it) that doesn't say anything about your value as a person. Not one thing.

The way out of this literal and figurative mess?

Self-acceptance. Loving all the things I am amazing at and letting someone else do the thing they are amazing at. Knowing that asking for help is not a moral failure.

Where do you need help and are afraid to ask? Let me know, I'd love to support you in knowing that your worth is not diminished by asking for help.