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My best advice.
‘Ghosting’ is not a problem
Let's talk about 'ghosting'! Presumably everybody's least favorite part of online dating. I see so many posts of women in the different Facebook groups I am in or coaching complaining about being ghosted. I get it. It sucks.
... but does it?
Urban Dictionary describes 'ghosting' as: When a person cuts off all communication with the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. My question is: why is this a problem? Seriously.
Why I don’t go on ‘first dates’ and what I do instead
I no longer think about going on a 'first date.' Why? Because first dates traditionally are filled with a nervous energy and a lot of expectations placed on how they should go and what they mean and what will happen after. After having too many disappointing Saturday night dinners out when I would rather have been home, alone, or doing something, literally anything, else, I rethought how I approached first dates. What I do instead is go on a 'meetup."
Do you know what you are looking for in a partner and relationship?
Are you dating and looking for a partnered relationship? When you meet someone do you think “I’ll know if it’s a fit when I meet them?” If that’s the case, you’re approaching dating wrong. You need to know what you want so you know it when you see it.
Dating apps are NOT actually the worst!
Do you find yourself saying "I hate dating apps!" or "I'm so sick of dating apps!"? If you're feeling exhausted with dating apps, the apps are not the problem. The apps provide a solution. How you're thinking about them is the problem!
What is shame and what can you do about it?
What is shame? It is the feeling of distress that stems from believing there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to do something and that you are doing it wrong. This is not a helpful emotion. Here’s what to do instead.
Why are you in a rush to get into a dating relationship?
Why do women often rush into dating relationships? We don’t do this with friends or work colleagues. Only in dating do we think the connection should be instant or it might not work. I disagree and here’s how I slow things down.
Confusion is a lie
You think you’re confused. Confusion makes you feel stuck and unable to make a decision. You’re not confused, you’re scared. Here’s what’s really going on.
Why asking ‘why?’ is not a helpful question
Women spend a lot of time wondering ‘why?’ a guy did or didn’t do something. This is never a helpful question because it only leads to rumination and feeling stuck - not any good answers.
Are you ‘dating’ someone you’re not actually DATING?
Are you in an intimate relationship with someone that feels like dating… but you’re not actually DATING? See why I think that is a bad idea.
Should I send a follow up text?
Wondering if you should send a follow-up text after a first date? Here’s my take…