Should I send a follow up text?

I was coaching someone recently who went out on a first date. I actually call them 'meet ups' but more on that later. She hadn't dated much and was excited and nervous about the follow-up so she conferred with her committee of friends.

Should she text that night? Wait till the next day? She didn't know what to do.

Here's what to do: Do what you want.

And here's why (a couple reasons):

First, you want people to get to know you, not your committee of friends. You want them to know your authentic self, not the person you 'think' you should be. Because if you start as Inauthentic You you'll be inclined to keep being that person when you actually want someone to fall in like/love with Real You.

Second, the main reason we worry about how we will show up in these circumstances is mostly to do with what we *think* the other person will think of us if we do X. For example, "If I follow up too soon, they will think I am [fill in the blank]." Usually the fill-in-the-blank is something we don't think is good. Notice that when we do this we are trying to control other people's thoughts or feelings about us. And, more importantly, we are assuming from the beginning that they are the authority of how a relationship should go.

Let people have their thoughts. They will either be a good fit, or they won't. Either way is fine! You want to attract the people who are excited about the Real You.