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Good advice.
The (other) biggest mistake you’re making in relationships
A big mistake people make in relationships: Expecting people to be different than they actually are. If you ever find yourself thinking, “They should just…” or “Why can't they just…” then that is a clue you might be thinking people should be different than they actually are. I find this applies not only to dating and partner relationships but also (especially) to long-term family and friend relationships.
I quit putting labels on my relationships
I have decided to let go of labeling my relationships. We often ask ourselves, “What is this?" or “What are we?” when talking about romantic partners (and even our relationships with our family members sometimes) but I don't find those questions to be that useful. We think that if we have a label on our relationship with someone (he or she is my partner, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend with benefits, etc.) that it is supposed to mean something about the state of our relationship with that person. It gives us a container to operate within. Letting go of labels will help you let go of the expectation you have that comes along with the label and allow you to just experience the relationship for what it is.
Are you willing to make your Plan B your Plan A?
I’ve heard this advice several times recently and wanted to share it with you: You need to have a Plan A and a Plan B.
And, most importantly, you need to be willing to make your Plan B your Plan A.
Read on…
Does going home feel like a visit to Dysfunction Junction Lane?
Let's get right to it: If spending time with family feels challenging for you, you are not alone. If you feel like you 'have' to be there, but you don't really 'want' to be there, you are not alone.
'Tis the season for comparison and wishing we had something that other people have.
That warm, inviting family where all are welcome, and everyone gets along and enjoys each other's company.
Is that your family? It's not mine.
I do not expect a warm and Hallmark-worthy holiday because that is just not how our family operates, even in a good year.
But in the longing for something I don't have, I have an opportunity...
What else could be true?
With the holidays upon is, we have more obligations, more family time, longer school breaks, and more opportunities for people to be frustrated. We also have more opportunities to feel slighted if other people aren't acting according to the 'manual' of how we think they should.
If you find yourself stuck thinking about someone else's behavior and what you're making it mean to you, here is a simple exercise you can try:
Ask yourself, "what else could be true?"
We all make up stories in our head about what we think someone else's behavior means. But...there's a good chance we might be wrong about that, or at least what they meant it to mean.
How I went from hating my ex to getting along better than ever
Five years ago I was full of rage and divorcing my then husband. Today we get along better than ever - including having family time with our son and my (not his) daughter. What changed?
Hint: Not him.