Does going home feel like a visit to Dysfunction Junction Lane?

If spending time with family feels challenging for you, you are not alone. 

If you feel like you 'have' to be there, but you don't really 'want' to be there, you are not alone. 

'Tis the season for comparison and wishing we had something that other people have. 

That warm, inviting family where all are welcome and everyone gets along and enjoys each other's company. Where you always feel comfortable to be yourself, where everyone plays games and laughs and stays up late talking. Where there are always snacks out on the counter and a full spread at dinner. Where partners become best friends with each other, and the cousin kids all wear matching jammies for the family holiday photo. 

Is that your family? It's not mine. 

Surely that exists somewhere... that's how I must have gotten the idea, right?! 

It might, but it doesn't exist for me.  

I feel like I need to 'brace' myself for these events. 

And that's not how I want to approach the holidays with my own children. 

This year I just skipped Thanksgiving altogether.

I'm planning to go to our family Chirstmas get together, but I have very low expectations for how the night will go. 

I do not expect a warm and Hallmark-worthy holiday because that is just not how our family operates, even in a good year. 

But in the longing for something I don't have, I have an opportunity...
I have the opportunity to be still and to listen to my inner wisdom. 
I have the opportunity to say no to things that no longer serve me. 
I have the opportunity to create connections with friends who treat me like family.
I have the opportunity to see people for who they are not not feel bad if who they are is not for me.
I have the opportunity to love the hell out of my kids and make sure they grow up feeling safe and seen and connected and loved exactly as they are.

I get to create opportunities to find peace for myself, and so do you.

Need help? I'd love to walk with you on this journey.