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Good advice.
On sex, pleasure and intimacy
Women have been taught conflicting things about sex. We were warned about the dangers of having sex, but also told it’s our job to attract men who want to have it with us. Women are also taught that our desire is only responsive to a man’s. And only by being desired by someone else should women feel sexual arousal of our own. Seeing your body only in service to someone else means many women don’t even know what they like or enjoy. We think we need to find the right partner to take us to the magical place of orgasm, not recognizing we can create the thoughts and feelings of sexual pleasure on our own.
The biggest difference between men and women dating
Here's what I think is the biggest difference between men and women who are dating: Generally speaking, most men are dating for dating. Most women are dating for a relationship. Lots of men who want to ‘get back out there’ and date after divorce or after a long-term relationship ends. This results in a series of short-term relationships and a lot of ‘dating.' Women, on the other hand, are typically dating for a ‘relationship.’ Most women are going on dates and sizing up what kind of long-term potential each person might have. Most women aren't dating just to be ‘dating.’
When a long-term friendship ends
One thing that I think doesn't get talked about enough is how women's long-term friendships can change in midlife. Broadly speaking, I think women have an idea if we have been friends with someone for 10, 20, 30, 40 years we will always be friends with them, and in the same capacity as we were before. But for so many women that just isn't the case. We might have to grieve the loss of the relationship we thought we would have with someone but also acknowledge the relationship that we do have with them, now.
What does it mean to be ‘selfish’?
What does it mean to be ‘selfish’? And why do you have to decide between being unselfish or allowing yourself to be ‘selfish’ once in a while? I would offer that maybe you don’t have to think about it in those terms. If you got rid of the word ‘selfish’ what would you put in its place instead?
Men only want ONE thing…
Raise your hand if you've ever thought, said out loud, or heard someone say, “Men only want SEX!” I see this sentiment shared online so often and it had me wondering… so what? So what if some men are only out there looking for sex? When you get upset that someone you had sex with no longer wants to date you, you completely give up your power as a woman. As Empowered Women, we don't participate in activities with other people and then get mad at them that we participated in those activities.
On a funeral, napping, and people pleasing
What do my uncle's funeral and a podcast about resting have in common? We need to let go of the need to people please in order to have everyone cry at your funeral when you die. Women are socialized to believe our value is in serving others. That we should always be busy, that we are never allowed to rest. There is another way. You do not have to earn your rest. You are allowed to say no to projects and people that aren't aligned with the kind of life you want to create for yourself.