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Good advice.
Are you in a relationship with someone you’re not ‘IN’ a relationship with?
Are you in a 'relationship' with someone you're not IN a relationship with? Are you texting someone regularly about kids and plans and exes, your day, their day, what you're both reading, watching or listening to, sending each other funny memes and articles you think they might be interested in… but you're not actually IN a relationship with this person? If so, why?
Why I don’t tell my friends about who I am dating
Do you like to tell your girlfriends about all the people you are talking to or are going on dates with - who they are, what they look like, what they do, how many kids they have, what their ex looks like, and whatever other intel you could dig up on the internet? I used to do that too. Here’s why I (mostly) stopped.
Why are we afraid of getting ‘hurt’?
We often want to protect ourselves from ‘getting hurt’ in a relationship and worry about what if things don’t work out. But here's the thing - there's no such thing as protecting ourselves from getting hurt. There's only the experience of being in relationship with other humans (both platonic and romantic). Some days those relationships might be more challenging, and some days those relationships might be more energetic or engaging, but in either case, the only way to prevent getting completely hurt is to not be in relationship with anyone at all. Having emotions along the way (both the comfortable and uncomfortable ones) is all part of the process.
What else could be true?
With the holidays upon is, we have more obligations, more family time, longer school breaks, and more opportunities for people to be frustrated. We also have more opportunities to feel slighted if other people aren't acting according to the 'manual' of how we think they should.
If you find yourself stuck thinking about someone else's behavior and what you're making it mean to you, here is a simple exercise you can try:
Ask yourself, "what else could be true?"
We all make up stories in our head about what we think someone else's behavior means. But...there's a good chance we might be wrong about that, or at least what they meant it to mean.