Are you in a relationship with someone you’re not ‘IN’ a relationship with?
Are you in a 'relationship' with someone you're not IN a relationship with?
This is one of those things I see a lot of women doing… I've done it myself (but I don't do it anymore).
Are you texting someone regularly about kids and plans and exes, your day, their day, what you're both reading, watching or listening to, sending each other funny memes and articles you think they might be interested in… but you're not actually IN a relationship with this person?
This might also look like:
Throwing out ideas for things to do but never actually getting together
If you do make plans to get together, it's at the last minute or only if neither of you have anything else going on
Doing lots of things together but not actually moving out of the 'friend zone'
This is what I like to call 'dating someone you're not dating.'
Are you dating someone you're not dating?! Be honest.
If so, why?
Listen, there's not thing wrong with being friends with people we enjoy. But you might ask yourself, why is this what we are doing? I have told a couple of men, “This is too much of one thing (lots of keeping in touch and a lot of closeness in our communication) but not enough of another thing (actually hanging out and putting some effort into making this into a relationship)."
I think women often become de facto therapists for men that don't actually want to date them. If you're in a relationship like this, you just have to decide if it is one you want to stay in. Or if, like me, you want to be in a fuller, richer, mutually committed relationship with someone else (which might mean you're in a relationship with no one for a while).
Neither way is right or wrong. I just have decided I don't want to feel like I'm 'dating' or in a 'relationship' with someone I'm not actually dating or in a relationship with.
What about you?
I love coaching women about how we keep ourselves stuck in relationships and what to do about it. If you're ready to see how Coaching can help you have better relationships NOW, schedule a FREE Relationship Revamp call with me here. You'll get a little coaching and lots of insights just from one call!
What are you waiting for?!?
