Who are your #Relationship goals?

I was listening to the We Can Do Hard Things podcast this morning and when I do I always think:

Glennon and Abby are #relationshipgoals. 

If you're not familiar with Glennon Doyle she was an addict and bulimic who got pregnant, got sober, got married, had three kids, got divorced, and then married soccer legend Abby Wambach. She's an author and an activist. I've loved her realness and the rawness she has shared in each of her books. But I'm not thinking about her as an author today.

What always strikes me when I see or hear Glennon and Abby together is the way that they love and support each other. 

From my vantage point, they seem to set such a good example of allowing the other person to be who they are, accepting them for how they are (even if it is frustrating at times -- see their IG vidoes for examples of this!), and showing up in love even when it is hard. Most importantly, they truly seem to enjoy each other's company. 

And that got me thinking...

Who do you look to as 'Relationship Goals'?

Is there a celebrity or fictional or real-life couple you know that makes you think, "I want what they have"? Whether you are single or partnered, married or divorced, what is it about that couple that you think is #goals? 

And WHY?

Sometimes we can look to people outside of ourselves for inspiration. That's what I do with Glennon and Abby. There are so many parts of what I see of their relationship that I aspire to have in my own relationships.

But sometimes we look to others as a source of comparison, which may not feel good and, more importantly, is probably not helpful. This is what we call 'compare and despair'. 

When I look at Glennon and Abby I only see what they share publicly. And when you look at your neighbor's, sister's or a celebrity's relationship, you also only see what they share publicly. We never know what goes on behind closed doors.

We don't know how they communicate. We don't know how they argue. We don't know how they co-parent. We don't know if they sleep alone or together. We don't know if they have a thriving sex life or haven't touched each other in years. We don't know if the division of labor is equitable or lopsided. We don't know how each person feels as an individual and a partner in that relationship. 

So, if you find your thoughts wandering to what other couples seem to have ask yourself: what is it you want more of in your own relationship, or future relationship? What do you think is missing?

It is your job to get clear on what that is and then start working on how you can create it in your own life. Sometimes that also means getting honest about how you might be blocking yourself from having the very thing you want. 

If you are looking to uplevel your current relationship, or think it is hard to find one that aligns with your #goals, I can help you with that. I will teach you how to get out of your own way in creating a life and relationship you love, even without the other person coming along for the ride. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll find you've had the capacity to be your own #relationshipgoals all along.