Did you see the viral list of places women refuse go on a first date?

Have you seen the list that is going viral of places women ‘absolutely refuse’ to go on a first date?!  

What even IS this?! 

Apart from someone's house, family functions, church, the gym or a movie night (hard nos)… most of these places are simply preferences. Some people love chain restaurants and night clubs, some do not. That, in itself, is not a problem. In fact, it is actually an opportunity to communicate with someone who is getting to know you about what you like and what you don't like. 

The bigger issue I see is this: 

I think the point of this list is to say, “High quality women deserve better (than a chain restaurant).” And I have to say, I think a lot of women are using this against themselves. Here's why:

If you think you are a high value woman (you should, because you are) you think that a man should show you that he thinks you are too by taking you to an interesting or expensive restaurant. 

But doing that is the opposite of an empowered approach to dating!

You are outsourcing your self-worth, first, to a man and, secondly, to a restaurant. That is NOT how we do it!

You know you are an amazing woman by knowing you are an amazing woman. And you don't let the choice of a restaurant, or first date location be a determinant of that. 

You could be the most amazing person meeting another amazing person at a coffee shop and just talking. In fact, this is my #1 recommendation for a first date: something short, sweet and uncomplicated. Coffee date, ice cream dates, happy hour dates are all a yes in my book! 

The restaurant does not determine either of your amazing-ness. You do!

Secondly, when you are getting to know someone, I think you need to give them a little time to get to know how wonderful you are. This is something you should build up to. You don't have to have a whole relationship in one night! 

Putting so much pressure on a first date is really a good way to be disappointed in a potential relationship before it even gets off the ground. If you have a preference, say it. Or put it in your profile so there's no confusion.

Don't be shy, and don't judge other people for their preferences. If your preferences are vastly different than someone else's, that is okay – it just means that person may not be a fit for you, and that is good information. 

Do you need help getting out of dating frustration and into relationship satisfaction? Schedule a call with me today - I'd love to help you!