When dating, it’s easy to fill in the gaps with who you want someone to be instead of seeing them for who they actually are. You ask a few questions, hear what you like, and suddenly your mind starts building a whole story about them. But here’s the truth: you can’t know who someone truly is until they show you. Here’s what to do instead.

Dating can feel like a gamble, and it’s tempting to look for ways to guarantee a good outcome. But here’s the truth—there’s no insurance for dating. No amount of checklists, social media polls, or background details will predict whether someone is a great match. Some things you just can’t know until you know them. The real key? Trusting yourself to recognize what works, what doesn’t, and adjusting as you go.

The first 45-90 days of dating should be about gathering information and taking things slow. Learn how to build meaningful connections by pacing yourself and focusing on what truly matters in the early stages of dating without getting overly attached too quickly.

My Rule of 3s goes like this: Give it three dates, three weeks and three months to see how things go with someone before you get overly attached and start planning a future together. Read on for why…!