Are you seeing who they are or who you want them to be?

Let’s talk about something I see all the time in dating—filling in the blanks.

When you meet someone new, there are a million things you don’t know about them yet. And instead of sitting with that unknown, your brain starts filling in the gaps with who you want them to be:

✨ They seem so kind… I bet they’re emotionally available
✨ They’re confident… They must have their life together
✨ They talk about their family… They will make a great partner

Sound familiar?

 This especially happens on dating shows like The Bachelorette or Love Is Blind. Contestants meet, ask a few deep questions, and then—BOOM—they’re convinced they’ve found “their person.” Meanwhile, we, the audience, are screaming at the TV, knowing they’ve barely scratched the surface.

The thing is, you can’t know who someone truly is based on a handful of conversations, no matter how deep they were. You have to let them show you.

If this sounds like you, here’s what you should do instead:

✔️ Slow down. There’s no rush to call them “the one” (or “not the one”) right away.

✔️ Gather data. Pay attention to their actions over time—and give yourself time to see how they act over time.

✔️ Stay curious. Instead of deciding what kind of person they are, simply observe. Do they show up consistently? How do they handle conflict? Are they aligned with what you actually want?

✔️ Wait and see. When you stop filling in the gaps with wishful thinking and start letting someone’s actions speak for themselves, you’ll make better dating decisions. No more heartbreak over someone who was never really who you thought they were in the first place.

You want to build connections with people based on who they truly are—not who you hope they might be. 

👉🏻 If you want help getting out of dating assumptions and into building real connections, Schedule a call with me today!