The first two questions I always ask in dating
If you have followed me for any amount of time, you'll know that I am a big proponent of two things: 1. Going slow and 2. Being direct in dating and relationships.
Going slow means not getting too attached to someone too quickly. And being direct helps us do that.
By being direct at the beginning stages of dating conversations, I can more quickly decide if this is a person I would even want to invest my time in getting to know.
Two questions I always ask pretty quickly when I have connected with someone are:
Where is home for you?
How long have you been separated/divorced/single?
Why do I ask these two questions in particular?
First, asking someone where 'home' is allows me to weed out spammers, people who might be traveling and only in my town for a short time, and those who are too far for me to comfortably start a relationship with. I'm not interested in being someone's tour guide and as a mom to younger kids, I'm not in a place where I could reasonably start dating someone who lives and hour away. You have to be realistic about how far you are willing to travel to date and if someone is not a good fit, I simply say, “I'm looking for someone closer to home, good luck with your search.” Easy!
Second, asking someone how recently they have become single is another favorite of mine. After going on so many dates with men who were recently single, separated or divorced, I have decided I am not going to date any of them anymore. Why? Because 9.9 times out of 10, they just will not be ready for something meaningful. Even if they think they are. Even if they say they are. Even if they swear the relationship was over 'a long time ago' even though they have only been single for a couple of months. I am not breaking anyone else in, and I am not taking on any new projects. So… I just wish them luck on their journey and move on.
What do you think of these? What questions do you like to ask as you are getting to know someone? I'd love to hear your ideas!
Here's to better dating and better relationships! Cheers! 🥂
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