When friendship feels hard
Women are great at walking along side each other and supporting each other in parallel on our journeys. Oftentimes our relationships start by having fun together - in high school or college or after - grabbing drinks, traveling, going to shows, etc. And we feel *deeply* connected because we talk about *all* the things - our hookups and breakups, our parents, our past, our future, or dreams. We are there for each other when our relationships go sour, or our parents pass away, or our children or ourselves have mental health issues. We stand up in weddings, throw baby showers, and plan divorce parties. Women are natural connectors and so we feel deeply connected to the women who have been with us for one, two or twenty years.
But there might come a time when life starts to change, and the relationship starts to change. There are things that don't sit quite right between you, or that make you feel uncomfortable. And suddenly, the person who you thought was so close to you doesn't feel close anymore.
You hold back on expressing your discomfort because you don't want to upset them, or the relationship you have with them.
While women are good at supporting each other, we often haven't learned how to deal with discomfort and repair in the relationship *between* each other. And when there is discomfort or disrepair, it feels like a great loss because in every other area we thought this person was so close to us.
How can we deal with this?
By being real, honest and genuine as you are building your relationships.
By asking for what you need and sharing when something doesn't feel right.
By being willing to put pressure on the relationship itself to see what comes out the other side.
By being willing to acknowledge that some of our relationships aren't meant for the current part of life we are in, or the person we have become, and that is okay.
And by letting go of shame in the process.
I found Episodes 322 and 323 of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast featuring Alex Hedison especially helpful on this topic. You can listen to them here.
Need help navigating a difficult or changing friendship? Grab a free Relationship Breakthrough call with me today!
