Are you tired of carrying the conversation?
Do you ever feel like you are doing all the heavy lifting in carrying the conversation on dating apps or in-person meetups?
How many times have you had a conversation that goes something like this:
You ask something. They answer.
You ask something else. They answer.
… and they never really ask about you?!
I used to put a lot of effort into getting to know the other person. I am a great conversationalist - on text, in person, you name it - I can talk to anyone about anything. And I'm good at asking questions.
But I don't do that anymore. Why? Because I want to see if the other person is interested in getting to know me, too. I want to see if - given the opportunity - they would volley some questions back my way. Oftentimes, they don't. That tells me right away that person is not a good match for me.
When we ask all the questions and carry the conversation, we're not making the other person put any energy into getting to know us.
I now have a soft rule that I'll ask a couple of questions to get the conversation going…. but after two or three without reciprocation, I'm out.✌️ In fact, since I have been doing this for a long time, I often go quiet after asking one question. Because if a man (in my case) can't even make simple conversation on the way to getting to know me, I know they are not the one for me.
It's my belief that we are always co-creating the kinds of relationships we have. And I don't want to set the standard that it's my job to entertain someone or be in charge of our communication. No thanks! This is not the kind of relationship I would want to be in for the long run, so I don't even entertain it in the short run.
I am looking for an emotionally mature adult who is interested in getting to know me, not just me getting to know them.
How about you?!
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