Dating can stir up all kinds of “what if” questions—What if the age gap becomes a problem? What if I never fit into his life with his kids? What if he starts drinking again?

The truth is: you don’t know, and you can’t know. Relationships don’t come with guarantees. Read on to learn how to stop overanalyzing the future and start making empowered dating decisions right now.

Spending hours on the phone before meeting someone might feel like a great way to build a connection—but in reality, you’re just creating an illusion of intimacy. You don’t know this person yet, and long conversations can lead to filling in the gaps with who you want them to be. Here’s what to do instead.