Nine tips for dating success as a single mom
Dating as a single mom isn’t just about finding a good match—it’s about finding the time, energy, and mental space to even think about dating in the first place.
Because let’s be real: Between work, kids, schedules, exhaustion, and possibly a tight budget, dating can feel extra difficult—maybe even impossible.
But here’s what I know: It’s not impossible. You just have to be mindful in your approach.
Here are nine tips that have worked for me:
1️⃣ Accept That You Have Limited Time—And Be Upfront About It
If you have sole or primary custody, your availability will look different from someone who is child-free or has non-custodial time. And that’s okay. Be honest about your schedule, and don’t stretch yourself too thin trying to make dating “fit” into your already packed life.
2️⃣ Be Clear on What You Want—So You Don’t Waste Time
Casual dating? Open to a relationship? Marriage-minded? Let potential partners know what you’re looking for. As a single mom, you don’t have the luxury of dating just for fun (unless, of course, you want to! 😉).
3️⃣ Get Good at Vetting People—Fast
There’s nothing worse than paying for a babysitter, using your limited free time, and ending up on a bad date with someone you knew wasn’t a fit after 10 minutes. Instead, start with a quick call or video chat (15-20 minutes max) to check for chemistry and compatibility.
4️⃣ Find Time in Your Existing Schedule
You don’t need extra time—you need to use the time you already have wisely.
Do you have a lunch hour? That’s a perfect time for a quick meet and greet.
Already paying a zillion dollars for daycare? Try a 4 p.m. happy hour or a coffee meeting before pick-up.
Kids in activities? Can you break away for an hour while your kids are at a class or a birthday party?
Sometimes getting started is just making space and time where you can.
5️⃣ Make Getting A Babysitter Worth It—And Get Creative
Hiring a sitter isn’t cheap, so make sure the date is worth the effort. Don’t do dinner and drinks with someone you’re not sure about. Meet for a quick coffee first. If they’re worth your time, then you can get a babysitter for a future date. Also, try:
Being upfront: "If I get the sitter, will you get the drinks?" (Most people will happily cover the tab once they realize you’re already paying one just to leave the house.)
Finding a babysitting swap. Trade Friday nights with a friend—one week is yours, the next is hers.
Adopting a helper. I have an ‘adopted’ grandma who helps in a pinch. Find someone in your community who loves kids and wants to support you.
6️⃣ Start Going Out Now—Before You’re Even Dating
Don’t wait until you’re actively dating to figure out how you’re going to make time for dating. Instead, set aside one night a week where you’ll start doing something for yourself—go out with friends, take a class, or just sit alone at a coffee shop. Try different babysitting options so you already have a plan in place when you’re ready to date.
This isn’t just about logistics—it’s about practicing making space for yourself and your life outside of your kids.
7️⃣ Don’t Apologize for Being a Mom
You’re not a burden. You don't have “baggage.” You’re a whole person, and kids are a part of your life. Own that. If someone sees your mom life as a problem, they’re not your person. Bring up your kids naturally. “I have two kids, they’re amazing.” You don’t need to justify or over-explain.
8️⃣ Don’t Let Mom Guilt Keep You From Dating
It’s easy to feel guilty about taking time away from your kids, but here’s the truth: You are a woman, not just a mom. You’re allowed to want companionship, connection and fun. Remind yourself that a happy, fulfilled mom makes for a better parent.
9️⃣ Don’t Get Too Invested Too Soon
Your first goal isn’t to find "The One” right out of the gate. It’s to find someone you enjoy talking to, someone who brings good energy, and someone worth getting to know. You need to keep your standards high and your expectations low. Focus on making genuine connections and compatibility will reveal itself over time.
And remember, a bad date isn’t a failure. The sooner you weed out the wrong ones, the faster you’ll find the right one. It’s all just part of the process.
💡 What’s working for you as a single mom getting back into dating? Let me know—I’d love to hear!
Your time is limited. Your energy is valuable. But that doesn’t mean you have to put your love life on hold forever.
📢 If you’re ready to make dating work for you—without adding stress to your already full plate, let’s talk. I’ll help you find a way to date that fits your reality as a single mom—on your time, and on your terms.
☎️ Schedule a FREE discovery call with me here. (And yes, we’ll keep it focused and to the point. 😉)
