Don’t outsource your dating dilemmas
Have you ever asked a Facebook group, “What would you do if your partner…?” and received an avalanche of conflicting advice?
Maybe you’ve seen posts like:
My partner stays out late—should I be worried?
They won’t post about me on social media. Is that a red flag?
Why are they secretive with their phone?
They don’t reply to my texts right away. Does this mean they don’t care?
The internet loves to jump to conclusions:
They’re cheating.
They’re not serious about you.
They are dating multiple people.
If they loved you, they wouldn’t do this.
But here’s the truth: You don’t actually know any of that. And strangers on the internet don’t know your relationship. Only you do.
Why Crowdsourcing Relationship Advice Can Be Harmful
When you ask an online group for advice, you might be inviting more confusion, not clarity. Armchair psychologists project their own fears and experiences onto strangers and two things happen:
Worst-case speculation takes over. You end up focusing on the most dramatic possibilities, rather than the facts.
You outsource your decision-making. Instead of trusting yourself, you look for permission to feel a certain way.
What to Do Instead
Next time you feel the urge to ask the internet about your relationship, try this instead:
Start with curiosity: Ask yourself, “Why does this behavior feel unusual to me?”
Communicate directly: Instead of guessing, ask your partner about their actions.
Decide with confidence: Determine what you will and won’t tolerate in your relationships. If something is a dealbreaker, what changes are you willing to make?
You have more power in your relationships than you think. Instead of spiraling in speculation, focus on what actually matters—your values, needs, and boundaries. When you trust yourself, you build stronger, more authentic connections with others, and with yourself.
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Tired of second-guessing yourself in relationships? Let’s work together to strengthen your confidence and clarity for better connections. Schedule your free call with me today.
