What do you do when you can’t stop thinking about someone after a breakup?
What do you do when you can't stop thinking about someone? What do you do when you have breakup remorse wondering if you should have made a different decision?
I'll tell you what doesn't work: thinking 'I shouldn't be thinking about them' or replaying ‘what if’ scenarios in your mind over and over again.
What does work?
💓 Processing, not pushing away, your feelings of loss and sadness.
💓 Getting curious about what you are missing versus what was wishful thinking.
💓 Separating the sadness of the breakup from shaming yourself that things (or you) should have been different somehow.
💓 Letting go of what other people think the relationship should have been.
💓 Thinking differently about yourself and your relationship on purpose.*
* Hint: This is the most important.
When we keep thinking about someone over and over and ruminating about them, we keep creating the same feelings over and over within ourselves. We end up prolonging our own suffering.
Although at first it might seem hard not think about someone - we are totally in control of our thoughts once we have them. We don't have to keep thinking the same things ('he did this' or ‘I should have done that').
Rather, you need a thought or two in your back pocket to practice to redirect your mind to instead.
Some examples might be:
🧠 I know this feels hard, but I trust my decision.
🧠 I know this feels hard, but I am standing up for me.
🧠 I always know what is best for me.
🧠 What is meant for me will find me.
🧠 Who is meant for me will find me.
🧠 My future relationships will come with ease.
🧠 I know that I am in the right place right now, even if I don't know where it is leading me yet.
These are just a few thoughts you could practice. Find one that resonates for you.
Practicing new thoughts instead of ruminating on the old ones is the best way to feel better, faster. But the trick is you also have to practice believing them.
This is one way coaching can help you in your relationships. Are you ready to date differently? Are you ready to change your relationship to your relationships for good? Let's chat!
I've got you! 💓
