An abridged list of things I (think I) am bad at and why I want to share them with you

I have been thinking lately (like, allllllllllll the time) about all the things I am not good at.

Here's a short and certainly incomplete list:
* Reading my messages (text, email, FB, IG, DMs, all the messages!)
* Responding to messages (see above)
* Checking my voice mail (so, so bad at this!)
* Calling people (on the phone?! I don't wanna!)
* Making appointments (see above re issues of using the phone)
* Cleaning the house (I don't mind cleaning clean things, I hate cleaning dirty things)
* Putting things away
* Doing the dishes
* Changing the lightbulbs (currently down three and will suffer into darkness until I convince my ex-husband to help me change them)
* Returning things I bought on time (yes, this costs me money)
* Feeding myself and my kids (ugh, meal planning! buying groceries! cooking!)
* Keeping up with my financial stuff
* Putting things away
* Getting organized
* Staying organized

and so on....

I could go on forever.

BUT...

Here's the thing.

I'm not actually bad at all those things.

I just don't like doing them.

As Glennon Doyle says, "I can do hard things, I can't do easy things."

Preach, sister!

Why am I telling you this?

A few reasons.

First, when we believe we are bad at something typically we put off doing it. (Exhibit A: Come see my house!)

Second, and more importantly, when we think we are 'bad' at something, we think it has some inherent meaning about our value as a person - that we are a bad mom, a bad partner, a bad employee, a bad whatever if we don't do all the things perfectly.

But that is not true.

What is true?

You are a human being, not a human doing.

You might have a brain or nervous system that operates differently than some other people's. You are great at a lot of things and don't have to be great at everything. You have permission to 'fail', and to not keep up with the impossible standards we see on social media.

And you don't have to make it mean something about you.

Instead, you can just acknowledge you don't like doing certain things. Or maybe you aren't good at everything. That is okay. There is a lot less emotion around thinking "I don't like doing the dishes" than "I hate doing the dishes so I suck as a mom." Can you see the difference? Can you feel it?

Here's what you can do instead: reframe how you think about yourself and how you show up in your life. Decide on purpose what you will (or won't) make something mean and pick a good or neutral meaning instead of a bad one.

And give equal airtime to the things you ARE good at.

Here are a few of mine:

* Loving my children
* Laughing
* Not taking life too seriously
* Being open to new ideas
* Being empathetic
* Learning new things
* Asking for help when I need it (okay, not always great at this, but working on it)
* Coaching my clients to help them see where they are stuck and also where their wisdom is to find a solution

Give yourself permission to be you with all of your imperfections. Let go of the stories you think those imperfections tell.

Life will open up for you when you do!