Can’t stop thinking about someone?

We've all been there… when can't stop thinking of someone. What do you do? How do you get past it? How do you stop thinking about them?!

First, it is normal to think about someone after a breakup - no matter how long you dated. You might even be thinking about someone you wish you had dated. If you're feeling stuck in a loop, Here's what you can do: 

You have to rethink how you think about them. 

What does that mean? 

When thoughts about a particular person come up, stop and just notice that you are having those thoughts and thinking about them. You might even write them down. Getting our thoughts out of our head on onto a paper helps us realize they are just that - thoughts. 

• Then take a look around at your thoughts and notice what you are thinking…  

• If you keep asking questions that seem to have no clear answers (such as what you did wrong or why did someone act the way they did) you'll keep yourself stuck in a loop. This is not productive thinking and will keep you spinning and ruminating. Take out the word 'why' and stop running through alllllll the scenarios of when times were good and when they were bad.

• Instead, you have to train yourself to think different thoughts when the 'hard' thoughts come up. Anything that is a little softer, a little gentler, a little more spacious will be helpful. 
  For example, you might think something like:
  'It makes sense that this feels hard right now' or 
  'This was not the right person for me right now' or 
  'I may not understand his/her decision but I am willing to accept it' or
  'This will be okay, I will be okay'
  … and so on.
  
  Find a thought that is gentle on you and that you can redirect your thinking to as you work through your feelings. 
   

While it is normal to have grief and sadness around letting go of a relationship, we don't want to keep ourselves stuck in that place. 

If you need help getting a handle on your ruminating thoughts about the past and building a bridge to a future you can be excited about, let's chat. I'd love to help you do that. 

 Schedule your free call with me today! 🚀